Chiiildren. I was stupid one day. And on that day during which I was stupid, I watched a PETA video.

Not completely. I turned it off when I realized they were about to stick a needle in a rabbit's eye. But still.

Guyses. Animal testing = &$%@!&@&$&#%&#@&@ They showed a little baby monkey whose eyes had been sewn shut, and they attached a neutron device to his head, I guess to study the effects of blindness, and he developed a spasm, so they're holding him in their hands because he's this tiny thing and he's flailing all over the place...

And then there were these kittens who had their heads cut open and some of their nerve receptors cut, so these kittens couldn't do anything properly. One was stumbling around, falling over and meowing. One was just sitting there looking down at its paws.

They put chimps in isolation cages for years, an empty dark room. And they spent years in there with no contact, no light, and nothing to do. They were rocking back and forth.

Meanwhilst, the army is shooting and burning live pigs to study wounds, and some psychotic asshole is burning mice with buson burners to study the effects of burns, and then subjecting other mice to the smoke and the scent of their fellows' flesh burning.

Cosmetics companies pour chemicals into animals' eyes and pump their products, finished and unfinished, into their stomachs. So here's what you need to do... look for the label that says, "Never tested on animals," "against animal testing," "tested on friends and family," and the like. There's usually a picture of a bunny beside the label.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Then pass me a blunt instrument. I've got some brains to bash in.